Confidence can sink us all; or rather a lack of confidence can prevent us from achieving what we want in our business and careers. Several people have said to me things like “I guess my problem is one of confidence. I have a burning ambition to be the “go-to” person for…., but……“. Here are 3 steps to build your confidence
Children on the ski slope
I was sitting twenty feet above the ski slope, my heart rate gradually returning to normality after the last run. It was bitterly cold, despite the bright sun and I was watching the most annoying thing. Below me in perfect formation was line after line of 5 and 6 years olds skiing perfectly down the slope, making whoops of excitement and all doing things that I couldn’t. Correct that, I could – but was afraid to.
If you’ve spent time on the slopes, you’ve seen something like it. If you’ve just watching children playing in the park at home, you’ve probably seen something similar.
How can they do it, and not me? When they fall over they scream more loudly than me, get up and go again. When I fall, I shakily get back onto the slopes and then think about the problems as I start my next run.
A guy at the top of the next slope said to me “If you’re thinking negatively about the fall, or view yourself as somebody who can’t ski, your thoughts create the conditions necessary for your performance to fail.”. He went on to say that confidence is essential in skiing, the kids focus on the good stuff, are slowly given bigger tasks to complete and praised on what they do well.
Confidence to be the go-to expert
I’ve been wanting to be the for a couple of years, I seem to make inroads then get cold feet and run back to “normal” client work; but I don’t have my heart in that and end up under-performing against my ability.
I really want to be in the position where I am doing a great job, working with people I enjoy spending time with, making a difference to their lives, and therefore having a steady stream of good client referrals.
I find people I talk to in (my niche) all very confident and overpowering, I often talk myself down and out of opportunities with people of influence. The voice in my head is full of doubts
Why not doubt the doubts, rather than doubting yourself?
3 steps to build your confidence
- Don’t insult people: How many past clients have said you’re good? By believing your can’t do it, you are insulting them! If you’re not completely persuaded by their testimony, ask more questions of them till you are. That’s also the basis of some good testimonials for your marketing too! Re-read some of your testimonials, and believe the people that believed in you; don’t insult them
- Take small steps on the edge of your comfort zone: Start by chipping away at the fear. On new skier is told to do one simple thing, then another, add add one new element (e.g. walking with one ski on). A straight run of 100 feet becomes more doable when it starts at 5 feet, then goes to 10, 15, 50, etc. What are the small things you could do to extend your comfort zone in your business life?
- Add habits to your life that will help: Habits are great, once we get them working for us. Whether they’re habits about taking small steps, or just doing a small but more each day. What habits do you need to develop to become the ?
[su_quote cite=”Peter T. Mcintyre”]Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong[/su_quote]
What little habits and steps will you take now?